Change of Heart Read online

  The next night I left for work a few minutes early, telling myself the whole way I didn’t care about finding another card. Good thing I wasn’t curious because when I got there, the curtains on the hat check window were drawn and the door was locked.

  The dinner crowd wandered the lobby, clearing space for the late-nighters. The boss would be all kinds of angry if he found the hat check closed, so I unlocked the door.

  Lorraine hopped away from a lady in a pink dress who had no business being in the hat check room. Surprise kept my mouth shut, but Lorraine let out a little yelp. “What are you doing here already? Beat it.” She came at me with her hands raised, trying to get rid of me with anger alone. The top couple buttons of her dress were undone, and she’d smeared her lipstick something fierce.

  “It’s five minutes till.” I retreated, trying to fit this new information into my picture of Lorraine. “But I’ll go get a glass of water or something.”

  I slammed the door before she could answer. I’d never liked Lorraine much. She was too mouthy and free with her put-downs. A couple times I’d told her to hush up, but now if I disagreed with her, she’d think I had a problem with her kissing a girl and not because she’d been rude. Momma always said “don’t borrow trouble”, but as far as I could see, I’d found trouble just by coming into work.

  By the time I finished my walk-around, Lorraine had opened the curtain and put herself together. The other woman had left, and as soon as I showed my face, Lorraine brushed past me with barely a word. Left some tips in the jar, too. She must have been real flustered.

  “See you tomorrow,” I called after her, then bit my lip to keep from saying anything else. Several fedoras and a lady’s fox fur stole sat on the shelf, and the little room smelled of lily perfume. I straightened the black lacquer tray of cigarettes, filtered and filterless, some in packs and some sold by the single. Only when I gave the room a once-over did I notice another envelope with my name scrawled across the front.

  Another corner, this one showing a black pleated skirt.

  Smiling, I tucked the card into its envelope and put it in my purse. Like the first picture, the one of my face, there was affection in the artist’s hand. These cards were a tease, a game, and I was dying to know who’d sent them. Honestly, I hoped they came from Vaughn, though that was impossible.

  At closing time, while I helped a tipsy woman reset her hat, Vaughn let herself into the hat check closet. “Hey, Clara.”

  Surprise made my heart flutter, and I turned so quick I almost stabbed Miss Tipsy with her hat pin. Vaughn grinned, her glossy black purse tucked under her arm.

  “You’re done early.” I bit my lower lip as if I could somehow keep the color from rising in my cheeks.

  Her eyes held a touch of shyness. “Sometimes it goes that way. Do you want to grab a drink? I could tell you about a dress I want to make.”

  Our staring went on a bit too long, and Miss Tipsy patted my hand. “I got it, sister. You go with your friend.”

  Vaughn’s smile had my heart beating faster than the three o’clock train. “Sure.”

  The Moonlight might have been one of the only respectable places in the Quarter, but even it wasn’t all that respectable. Once we closed up, there weren’t many other choices.

  “We can go to Demetrio’s.” Vaughn’s light touch on my elbow made me shiver. Walking next to her, I kept my hands clasped behind me and my eyes on the ground, afraid I’d scare her away. Despite the distance, her light rose scent carried through the stink of the street, wrapping around me and making it hard not to move closer.

  She led me a couple of blocks to an establishment so narrow I could have stood in the middle and touched the wall on either side. We barely had room to walk behind the row of stools at the bar, and the overhead lights were dimmer than candles, but Vaughn led the way like they’d been saving us seats.

  I let her order our drinks, too. I didn’t want to say something dumb my first time out.

  “What’d you think of that canary the band hired?” Vaughn smiled around her glass of gin.

  I sipped mine, trying hard not to wince at the flames burning my throat. “Hoo boy.” I gracelessly waved a hand in front of my mouth. “She sang pretty good.”

  Vaughn laughed and laughed. “I think she only got the gig because she’s Lorraine’s cousin.”

  I didn’t want to talk about Lorraine, but she kept going. “You know Lorraine’s father owns the place, and her uncle is the boss, right?”

  “Really?”

  “You’re such a fresh little thing.” There was something sad about the way she called me ‘fresh’. We were so different; her so poised and sophisticated, and me, well, I had some ground to cover.

  “They used to run a couple places over in Storyville, and now they run the hook shop down the block. I think a cousin runs this joint, too. That’s why the chiselers here leave us alone.” Vaughn gave her gin a twirl, her gaze traveling over me.

  Good thing she couldn’t see me blush, though the boldness of her stare gave me courage. “You know, I busted Lorraine necking with some lady when I got to work tonight.” Edging so close to what I really wanted made me giddy.

  Vaughn laughed again. “Which one? She has more dames on her string than any fellow in the place.”

  The gleam in her eye set my belly trembling. Maybe Lorraine wasn’t the only one with dames on a string. “All I saw was a pink dress.”

  “Oh yeah. Millie Fitzgerald came in tonight with her sister. Couple of lookers, both of them.”

  I dipped a fingertip into my gin and sucked it off, hoping a little taste wouldn’t burn as badly. Vaughn watched the whole thing, which heated my cheeks again. I might have thought about kissing a girl, but I didn’t know how I felt about knowing someone who’d actually done it. Who was I kidding? Excitement filled my belly like a gallon of fizzy soda.

  “There are a few girls with girlfriends at the club.” Vaughn leaned in, bumping me with her shoulder. Her long hair tickled my skin and gave off a whiff of rosewater. “Boys with boyfriends, too.”

  “What?” I took another fiery sip and burst out coughing. When she rubbed my shoulder, her hand stayed put, and I had to fight to keep from snuggling against her. A voice in my head tried to tell me necking with a woman in public was bad. That voice could shut right up.

  “You know Ben who works the bar?” she asked when I calmed myself, her arm draped over my shoulders, her voice nuzzling my ear. “I’ve caught him more than once on his knees in front of Remo in the kitchen.”

  “Really?” I squinted my eyes to try and picture the two men and what they might have been doing. “I knew a boy back home who was a pansy, but Ben and Remo aren’t that way.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to be an Ethel to enjoy bending over for another man. You’d be surprised.” She scooted me in closer, sending up tiny sparks wherever we touched.

  I must really have come to a place where everyone lived in sin. Vaughn said something, but I couldn’t hear her because the movement of her lips flustered me. She didn’t repeat herself, but her mouth curled into a sly little smile, and she took another sip of her gin.

  A single strand of pearls glowed against the collar of her black uniform dress. They looked real, too. I reached out thoughtlessly, rolling one of the cool, lustrous beads between my fingers.

  “Leo gave me that.” She took hold of my hand, drawing it into her lap.

  “Your old friend Leo.” Who made me jealous, even though I’d never met the man.

  “My old friend Leo.” She ran the tip of her tongue along her lower lip. “He’ll be here soon. Do you want a ride home?”

  Disappointment trickled through the haze of my thoughts. The way we were snuggling together, I didn’t want to hear about going anywhere. “That’d be nice,” I lied.

  “Finish your drink, then, and we’ll go find him.”

  She wouldn’t let me pay, didn’t let go of my hand, and seemed to ignore my sulk. Outside the bar, the night was muggy, the st
reets dark. There were hookers around, and the men who went with them, and other men, the kind who looked for trouble and found it.

  Standing next to Vaughn, though, I felt safe. She drew me into a shadowy doorway on the corner of Bourbon Street and Dumain, and all my fizzy excitement came whooshing back. She had her arm around me, holding me close, and I put my arm around her narrow waist and breathed in the warm smell of roses.

  Was this wrong? My Momma would think so, and so would the preacher. I tipped my chin, trying to smile despite the shivers rattling me.

  “You’re a peach, Clara Ryan,” she whispered, and then she kissed me. Her lips were soft and tasted of Max Factor lipstick and gin, and my breath caught in my throat. At first we pressed our lips together, sweetly, gently. I stood on tiptoe to get closer, and she wrapped a hand around my neck. This couldn’t be a sin. It couldn’t. Vaughn’s kiss felt way too much like heaven.

  She hummed softly and turned her head, stroking my cheek with her fingertips. I held her slender, strong body and kissed her, putting my whole soul into it. When she ran her tongue along my lower lip, my jaw softened and she kissed me deep. Her bubs pressed against mine, and the heat built down deep till I thought I might die.

  A car’s horn beeped, breaking us apart. A long, low automobile had pulled up to the corner, its engine idling. “There he is.”

  She tugged me towards the car, and we slid into the rear seat behind a pair of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen. Vaughn introduced the driver as Mr. Dupont. He didn’t look any older than twenty-five, but his dark eyes and steely reserve made the moniker Mr. feel right. She introduced the other man as Leo. His white blond hair, light blue eyes, and cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass gave him the look of an angel.

  His smile gave me the heebie jeebies.

  “My house is on Bienville Street, near the river,” I told Mr. Dupont. Leo wore a flashy plaid suitcoat, while Mr. Dupont’s was a solid color, either black or very dark gray. We rolled along the road so slowly I could have walked faster.

  Leo made a production out of lighting a cigarette. “I’d better take the wheel, or we’ll never get home, Thaddy,” he said, puffing out smoke with every word.

  Mr. Dupont gave Leo a smile that should have frozen him solid. The two of them terrified me, but again Vaughn made me feel perfectly safe. Too soon we were stopped in front of my place, saying our good-byes.

  “Thank you for the drink,” I said.

  Vaughn and I faced each other, and she raised our clasped hands and kissed my knuckles. “Next time we both have the night off, we’ll go see a picture.”

  They left me standing on the street, smiling.

  Chapter 4

  I’d really done it. I’d kissed a girl. Flopping onto my bed, I let out a huge breath. Not just any girl, either. Vaughn. Tall and pretty, with auburn hair and soft lips and a laugh that made my heart sing. I half-hugged my pillow and shut my eyes. I couldn’t help but relive the kiss, over and over, waffling between excitement and despair.

  Because, my gosh, was I a sinner now.

  Over the next few nights, I collected a few more anonymous envelopes. With each new piece of the puzzle, my curiosity bloomed. I’d bite my own tongue off before I’d ask Lorraine what she thought, though. Staying on Lorraine’s good side meant keeping my mouth shut.

  Pretty soon, I could tell the picture showed two women standing side by side. One had dark hair, the other reddish-blonde. The center where the faces should go was still missing. Worrying about who those faces belonged to took more and more of my time.

  Thursday, I got to work in time to see Vaughn leaning against the counter of the hat check room, resting on her elbow like she had nothing better to do. Her lipstick was dark red, and a matching scarf softened the neckline of her uniform. Jealousy punched me in the gut. She and Lorraine weren’t friends, so what was going on?

  “Evening.” I couldn’t help but smile, even though I wanted to kick her in the shins. She’s got more girls on a string than any guy. I didn’t want Vaughn anywhere near Lorraine the lady-killer.

  Lorraine stepped aside to let me into our little room. “Pee-eww, what is that smell?”

  I lifted the paper-wrapped package I’d brought with me. “Muffaletta sandwich. Either of you hungry? I could only eat half.” I set the package on the counter, took off my hat and gloves, and tucked my purse away, ignoring Vaughn’s gaze. If she wanted to flirt with Lorraine, it was no business of mine.

  A colored girl crossed the lobby to our counter. She was pretty, with marcelled curls lying tight against her head and the cleanest white gloves I’ve ever seen. Her sapphire blue dress had been cut on the bias to flow over her body, and a row of perlite buttons angled across the front. “Excuse me. I heard you all might be hiring.”

  Before Vaughn or I could respond, Lorraine shouldered her way in front of us. “I guess you heard wrong.”

  The colored girl didn’t look surprised. She'd been plenty brave to come in here in the first place. “Sorry to have bothered y’all,” she murmured. Without another word she pivoted and walked out, her heels tapping on the tile floor.

  “She knows we’d never let her work the cash drawer,” Lorraine muttered.

  I kept my mouth shut. Lorraine’s family owned the place, so she could say whatever she wanted. Besides, her thoughts weren’t any big surprise. Out on our little patch of dirt, Momma had always said she didn’t care what color a man was because as long as he had ten fingers and ten toes, she’d pay him for the work he did. I might not agree with everything Momma said, but on that point I did.

  Vaughn shifted closer to me. “Did you get a look at her dress? It looked like something from the movies.”

  I patted my hair, glad for the distraction so I would stop worrying whether I should have spoken up. “Simple crossover neckline with some fancy buttons and flouncy sleeves.”

  “I liked how it fit through the hips.” Vaughn stretched her uniform skirt across her thighs. “This thing’s so much bulkier.”

  I reached over the counter to give her skirt a tug. “It hangs that way because of how they cut the fabric.”

  She looked at me from under her curled bangs, her perfect half-moon brows rising. “Could you make one?”

  Her smile distracted me from my annoyance. “Easy.”

  “Working with you is going to be so much fun.” She gave me a hug and disappeared into the dining room.

  My smile might have given something away because Lorraine gave me a pickled look. “You be careful with that girl.” She nodded in the direction of the double doors swinging shut behind Vaughn. “I think she’s part colored, too.”

  Surprise sent a flash of ice over me. “What?”

  “There’s not a bit of softness to her.” Lorraine planted her fists on her plump hips. “Haven’t you noticed? She’s all hard edges. Colored girls are always like that.”

  “That’s crazy.” Common sense filtered through the surprise. Maybe Lorraine was jealous, too. “Colored girls come in all shapes and sizes, same as us.”

  “Listen, Clara.” She draped an arm over my shoulders. “Maybe they do things differently where you come from, but you need to be more careful who your friends are. You just can’t trust everybody, you know.”

  I tried to scoot away, but she held on, her heavy perfume drowning me. “I’ll be careful.”

  She laughed and gave me a squeeze.

  I schooled my face because I could never let the boss's niece know how little I thought of her.

  Gathering her soft cloche hat, gloves, and purse took forever. I made a show of straightening the cigarettes, laying them out in solid white stripes on the black lacquer tray, and answered her “Abyssinia” with a weak wave. Did it matter to me if Vaughn was a mulatto? Some of the mixed families could pass, and I didn’t know anything about her besides how she made me feel.

  And I guess she made me feel pretty good, so I shouldn’t worry about some dirty rumor started by a jealous girl. With that in mind, I straightened
my shoulders and gave the first couple who came to my counter a big, broad smile.

  I kept that smile in place—at least until I noticed my secret admirer hadn’t left me a card. Silly how fast something little had gone from a tease to an expectation. Another couple came to collect their hats, and my smile went limp despite my vow not to let the mystery person’s fickle nature bother me.

  I spent the rest of the night wrestling with sadness.

  Chapter 5

  Vaughn kept saying we should go see a picture, but we couldn’t find a time when we were both free. I was the problem. If the boss let me, I would have worked every night. Momma might not approve of me taking the Devil’s money here in Sodom, but she sure didn’t waste any time cashing the checks I mailed her. And maybe deep down I had some uncertainty about going around with another girl.

  On Saturday night the band was really cranking, the music pouring over the crowded dance floor and spilling into the lobby. I grabbed a little taste of the wingding every time someone came to collect their hat or buy themselves another smoke. Near closing, people started moving on to late-night gin joints, and those little tastes got bigger. So big, I almost missed Vaughn when she strode in, Leo and Mr. Dupont on either side of her.

  They looked like movie stars, all three of them. Vaughn had on a feathered hat and wide silk pants, with a lace top and a bright green scarf around her neck. I’d never been brave enough to wear a pair of pants, but Vaughn took to them as natural as breathing, and when she smiled at me, it plain stole my breath away.

  Pushing against the crowd, the trio went toward the double doors that led into the dining room. Leo again wore a loud plaid jacket over trousers, but Mr. Dupont had on a light gray linen suit. Vaughn caught my eye with a wave, inviting me to follow. As soon as I found the man’s bowler Lorraine had misplaced, I gave my cash drawer to the boss and went to look for her.